Friday, 17 September 2010

Paying it Forward

I like this because the image is from around 1910! 
... I was going to talk about marriage today, as a modern institution that is outdated and perhaps unnecessary. The reason being I may have been banging my gums repeatedly mentioned in the passing, several hundred times once or twice that I am pulling my hair out with  all the crap having a few problems with 'the ex' ... but it's just too depressing  complicated and needs a lot more brain power than I can muster. Also I have several reason why I do not think , at this time, it is a good idea to air my opinion about something that is clearly affecting my life just now:
A. I think it is unseemly to air one's personal dirty laundry publicly,
B. He is on my Facebook and may see it! and
C. I do get his point of view,BUT HE IS WRONG!!!!  I just disagree with it.

I am also not a fan of the one sided argument which blogs, forums and other internet outlets tend to support. Let's face it we all know there are three sides to every argument - his, hers and the truth!

So about marriage let's just say - I am not its biggest fan! I am not an entirely paid up member of the 'let's get divorced club' either ... I am more on the side of let's get rid of these archaic and unworkable institutions all together and stop shitting ourselves that they actually function! Now I have a LOT of thoughts on the pros and cons of marriage and maybe one day I will pluck up the courage to form them into a coherent few paragraphs, but right now I have a feeling it would degenerate into a rant ... which would be sooooo satisfying is never pretty!

Instead I thought would waffle on about the idea of 'pay it forward' because after a very odd and shitty week, a woman and a friend, who I know only virtually, has done something rather sweet and unexpected to cheer me up. When I asked what I could do in return her reply was, 'just pay it forward'. I am not even entirely sure she even knows the week I have had, which makes it even more spontaneous and unexpected.

If you've seen the film starring that boy who sees dead people you will be fully aware of what pay it forward means; basically if someone does you a good turn you do something good for someone else ... and so on and so forth. I like the theory but never experienced it in practice and I have to tell you it fair perked me up! I can't even tell you what it is she is offering because, well, it's a little shady and involves copy dvds! Shhhhhhhh

The lovely thing is I already know a man who I can pay this particular good deed forward to! I have a feeling there may be a few other folk who want to get their mitts on it as well - so form a queue!

So I think I shall declare today send the Pimpernel loads of pressies as pressies cheer her up exponentially day   
Pay It Forward Friday !
A positive note on which to end the week! As Fresher's looms I shall need all the positivity I can get.

As a consequence of this friends thoughtfulness, I have been musing about how many folk I have 'met' through the internet and how rarely I am disappointed when I actually meet them. I have many actual good real life friends now, which is largely down to online forums and facebook etc ... how life has changed. Years ago as a divorced single parent staying at home I would have had little or no opportunity to get out and about and meet new folks (especially after I moved here from England). But by the glory of the internet I have a whole virtual family who in times of need never fails to rally! I consider myself blessed. It never fails to amaze me what a virtual friend will do for you when the chips are down! Or how quickly you can get the feeling you really 'know' them!

So for those of you scared to commit and sitting on life's sidelines - get online and put yourself out there! There are some good people to get to know! And I reckon I am one of them! ;) ... Usual disclaimer about online safety applies - sometimes people may not be what they seem. He may look good in his picture but in reality, well ... let's just say it might not be quite what you were expecting! Also if he mentions the word 'swing' and 'fascism' in the same sentence I'd advise caution!

So to conclude and before I start making a dent in the weekend's supply of alcoholic beverages  in the words of Edward Everett Hale :

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will.”

If you do anything today make it a kind something, and look for nothing in return.

Have a good weekend folks!


  1. I have often wondered what that phrase meant. Thanks for explaining!

    I'm interested to hear your comments about people you have "met" through the internet, as my experience has been very similar. I'm not going to try to count the number of people I have met in real life after having got to know them on the internet, but without exception, the real life person has been at least as friendly, interesting and funny as the internet person; in most cases, the real person has been even better company than I expected them to be (and I in each instance I had pretty high expectations, as I wouldn't have arranged to meet them if I didn't think I would like them).

    I haven't met you yet. No pressure then ;-)

  2. So why do you want to be an English Lecturer? Critic I can just about understand, but lecturer! From what I've seen you write well so why not channel that to something more creative and I suspect ultimately more rewarding than critic/lecturer?
    I admire people who stick at things. I'm one of those people who has the attention span of a ... (something that has a very short attention span). I start something, spot something more sparkly and off I go!(maybe that's why I don't have a PhD). Beauty Therapist - I tried rolling the eyes, but the bags appear to be restricting movement - can you recommend something! Trying to think of a sentence with 'swing' and 'fascism' in it, but will probably get distracted before I come up with something ;-)
    PS - that duck guy is OK(ish). We have met and he got me drunk! ;-)

  3. I have also met a couple of people via my blog, one all the way from Oz. Needless to say we talked non stop for ages and it makes our blog/FB converstaions more 'real'.

    As for paying it forward, currently a close friend is in a situation where, support - financial and emotional is needed, beyond the odd coffee. We joke that she will have to make us gallons of coffee when she is sorted. When the amount of 'coffee' is worried about by this friend, we just ask her to 'pay it forward' to her children when she can. I like your quote, because although I am not the only one supporting her, there is not much we all can actually do beyond listening and helping with the children, so we do what we can.


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